I'm goin home

You know your forgetting Albanian when- You have a dream in Albanian and you cant understand most of what people are saying.
Isn't that pathetic??!! I'm gonna get home and when people talk to em I'll have to smile and nod and say "nuk kuptoj!" meaning "I dont understand." I'm so excited to go back to Albania! I was packing last night and first I thought to bring regular old ripped jeans, but then realized I would look like a street bum, we dont wear ripped jeans in Europe. It's a high fashion place. Not that I will ever dress in fashion, but I dont want to give the impression that Canada is a hole in the wall. So then I decided on some black flats but quickly remembered that the street I live on is so thick with garbage and mud that the flats just wouldn't do.
I'm afraid that a lot of things that were once normal will be weird. Like when people kiss your cheeks 2 or 4 times. Or boys hooting and whistling I'm quite afraid I'll have the urge to punch them. WHen before it was something girls get used to and ignore. Or merely crossing the street with all the horses and wagons and mopeds and bicycles.
The thing I must say I'm looking forward to the most, more then sleeping in my bed or eating Albanian pickles is seeing my gypsies! My little girls! What if they all forgot me? What if they dont recognize me? I miss them so much...I miss being a mommy to 30. There's something about them that makes you feel needed, and you are! And I love that feeling, walking down the street with 6 little kids holding your hands and tugging on your skirt all begging for ice cream. I LOVE IT!!!
And my little brothers! Their probably really tall and handsome and wont want to listen to the gummy bear song any more...Now that's sad!
Sometimes I look out the window at these Canadian mountains and ask God why on earth I'm here. I could be so many other places, most importantly Albania. I could do so much to help people and yet I'm in boarding school...in Canada. I mean how on earth did I end up here??? But then God reminds me that I still have growing to do, and I know he's right. I didnt hardly know him at all back then. I thought God was a genie who should grant my wishes and then leave me alone. Heaven was a fairy tale land that I would think about at night when I woke up from a nightmare to calm me down. I was told I was going to heaven but I told God to wait a while, I wanted to live my life first. Now I know how merciful he was for not coming, I wouldn't have been there.
Pray for 2 things. One that whoever I sit with on the plane will speak English! And second that they will be open to the gospel and they will be receptive because they have to sit with me for 13 hours and I think even the toughest nut can be cracked in 13 hours. ;)